When I was in my freshman year of high school at Notre Dame, a person who was the anchor and a guiding force in my young life. This person was always around when I needed to be put back in my place. He was my grandfather and I miss him. He died in June 1983 and I still miss him. I have written a lot about him in the past few years either on my site or for my family’s newspaper.
I was around him a lot when I was going to certain schools, because the school bus would drop me off at my grandparent’s house. When I first started going there after school I would get my homework done and my grand mom would cook dinner and I would kneel on the couch and look out the window watching Eggert Crossing Road for his yellow Datsun B-210. Because I knew that when I saw it, that in a few minutes I would get to hear how his day was and hear about what ever he was going to be doing that night. He would ask me what I learned in school and of course as the years went on my answers didn’t make him happy with me. He always pushed his grandkids to be the best at school. I never did that and I know that irritated him and we talked less and less as I got closer to and in high school. He knew I was smart and that I wasn’t doing the best that I could do.
In the past few months I have been thinking a lot about how in certain parts of my life he would be so proud of me for what I have accomplished, and in others he would be shaking his head thinking what am I doing with my life. I know that I have disappointed him and the rest of my family. My life hasn’t gone the way I thought it would when I was a kid and playing and talking with him. I know that I can’t live in the past and I have to take responsibility for my actions and the decisions I have made and move on.
When you are a teenager and you are around parents, aunts, uncles and grand parents you always think they will be around to be there to help you navigate this thing called life. Since the fall of 1983 I have been on my own when it came to my life decisions that my parents didn’t have control of. I screwed up in school big time. You are reading the blog of the Summer School KING. College for me was a joke and I failed out faster then the first lap of a stock car race. My radio career crashed and burned because I got full of myself and took things for granted. I have made a career in Information Technology, but things are getting long in the tooth in that field. One of the greatest things that have happened in my life is my daughter Avery. My grandfather would be so proud of her, she is smart and doing great in school and has a good head on her shoulders.
My world right now is in a big flux, I am “newly” divorced, living by myself and working. I have a house that I need to fix or sell, trying to make up with a friend and my family has been quiet. The biggest thing I miss about my grand father is having him to talk to, as a kid before I was screwing up in school he and I talked a lot about the future. Of course being 13 my future was kind of more fun and games then serious life as it is now.
I know this post was a ramble but when I get thinking of my grandfather a lot comes out. So even though June is Aquarium Month, Candy Month, Dairy Month, Fight the Filthy Fly Month, Gay Pride Month, National Accordion Awareness Month, National Adopt a Cat Month, National Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month, Rose Month, Turkey Lovers Month to me it’s Louis G. Bilancio month.